I had to share this with the world. Best email ever.

Public Restrooms

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume ' The Stance.'


In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.' To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat; you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying got to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail.

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work... The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.'

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.

You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.' as you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long and why is your purse hanging around your neck?'

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!

This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately!

I laughed so hard when I read this.

This picture was taken at our church party. Adeline was Snow White and Abagail was a Poodle.
We went to my sister's church party too. Here is her little cowgirl Mallory and my sweet Peter Pan.

Here is one of the lost boys with his lion costume on. I didn't have Cooper hold a bag and at the end of the night. A group of people thought he was so cute and they kept saying let him come over and get some candy. So he walked over there and they gave him a couple pieces of candy. He thought it was great. Too bad he has restrictions on candy.

Here is the lion (Cooper) and the chicken (Chase)

Such a cute picture. Wish they would have been looking at me. Shauna you better have this picture where they are looking at you.

Here is Dillon straining a smile and Cooper with his one red eye.

I don't think you could get any more 'cheese' out of Dillon. I like this picture.

Ahh I wish this picture turned out. They wouldn't sit still for any more pictures.

"ROAR" He looks scary right?

My Peter Pan. He so wishes he was an astronaut. I couldn't fork out the money though. OH well he made a cute Peter Pan.

We had a great Halloween and lots of candy to show for it. I hope all of you had a good Halloween. Next to come is Thanksgiving. Nothing new is going on with us. Just the same ol' things.

Happy Halloween

Well it has been a while since my last picture post. I thought you might want to see what we have been up to. Last week we had a little family Halloween party. We made homemade pizza, frosted Halloween cookies, played Operation and won prizes. Dillon thought this was all great. Sorry I didn't get a picture of the other party things we did. Anyways, we are going out for a Halloween party tonight and it should be fun. You will see pictures of their costumes soon. That is if Cooper leaves his costume on. Hope you all have a safe and happy Halloween. If you want the sugar cookie recipe go to my food blog.

7 things

I've been tagged a couple times so here goes.

7 Things that attract me to Brach

1. His laugh...when he starts to laugh hard I think it is hilarious (Especially when we watch America's Funniest Home Videos)
2. He can fix anything. I do mean anything. He is totally handy to have.haha:)
3. How he acts with the boys. He loves showing Dillon how to do something.
4. Brach is a clean FREAK! It's sexy to see a man clean up a house.
5. He will try anything once.
6. He is very confident.
7. I love his broad shoulders. That's hot too.

7 Things I always say:

1. Who does that?
2. STOP!
3. Go stand in the corner
4. Don't do that
5. Awesome
6. Come on
7. Be nice

7 Things I love to eat:

1. PIZZA
2. Ranch Dorito chips
3. chocolate
4. Mexican food. All Mexican food. Doesn't that come with being a Ewell?
5. I love Del Monte peach cups.
6. I love oranges...when they are in season
7. I love my homemade chocolate chip cookies

7 Things I can do :

1. Play the piano
2. Cook
3. Bake
4. Blog (i'm real good at this)
5. I can fart with my hands
6. I can make my ring fingers pop
7. Burp on command.

7 Things I can't do:

1. Sew
2. Scrapbook.... I guess I could scrapbook if I tried.
3. I can't or have never mowed grass. I'm sure I could do it if my Dad ever gave us a chance.
4. I can't watch scary movies. I will have nightmares forever.
5. I can't eat McDonalds when I'm pregnant. Just the smell makes me sick.
6. I can't climb a tree.
7. I can't snowboard.
(I guess some of these things I can do I just don't)

7 People I tag:

Michelle
Katrina
Ashley
Kelly
Katie
Traci
Julia

Daddy's Boots

Cooper thought this was so funny. Cooper has been really interested in Brach's work boots. Actually he has been interested in all of Brach's shoes. Maybe because they are just so big he can slip them on but he just thinks this is great. So when I saw him with the boots on I had to get a picture. He was trying to walk in them but they were just to big to move. Too cute!

Pine Cones

The boys and I go on walks often up here. Dillon is always on the hunt for the biggest pine cone we see. So we found these pine cones on this last walk and he wanted to paint them. So while Cooper took his nap I got to paint the pine cones with Dillon. It was easy and a good little art project for Dillon.Once he started painting he was very focused on where he was putting the paint. So cute! I love having time to just hang out with Dillon.

He's so silly

I was in the bathroom getting ready and the boys were eating some cheese in the other room. Dillon comes in the bathroom and says .......
Dillon: Mom, Can I have more cheese?
Me: No
Dillon : BUT MOM
Me: Dillon, No more BUTS you can't have any more cheese
Dillon: Mom, I'm not talking about BUTTS I'm talking about CHEESE.

We took a walk the other day and we turned the corner to our house and he just stopped. I said Dillon what are you doing and he said "Mom, It's so beautiful out here." It was halarious.

I tell Dillon all the time if you eat your food you will get strong muscles and have lots of energy. So after he eats now he says look Mom I have strong muscles and lots of energy to go and pick up cars.

Dillon says this kind of stuff all the time.

I have a halarious video of Dillon if I can get it uploaded off my video camera.